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Post by My-Chikorita on Nov 28, 2023 22:52:36 GMT
I was feeling a lot more normal and like I was out of the mood episodes, but then they suddenly came back. Yesterday I felt normal in the morning, then suddenly got hyped up and irritated and weird in the afternoon. I ate at that time just in case it was blood sugar-related, but I still felt weird after that. Then I had a major freak out last night, and I woke up too early today (though I did nap for an hour or two later, which did help). I felt great at first, then REALLY irritated and down, then flat, and now I have that weird "hyped up and feeling down at the same time" mixed episode thing.
My case manager knows about it, but hasn't been able to get me a more recent appointment with my psychiatrist yet. Also, I'm seeing Dennis tomorrow for the first time in a while. The person who helps me is coming over for a bit tomorrow, so I at least won't be alone all day tomorrow. The snow is making it harder for me to see my mom.
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Nov 30, 2023 7:46:59 GMT
I am gonna go back to bed sleeping is fun my mind gets to go all random and it feels like 2004 again haha
Just listening to into the nothing one more time before I rest cos it will help me have the best sleep haha <3
Also I need to stop worrying I will meltdown from lack of sleep…o.o; it doesn’t help anything.
Dreams and nightmares don’t even scare me, so why do I even have any sleeping issues? XD; anxiety is strange…..it makes sense of missingno. Seriously. Oh and discord haha. Missingno and discord make so much more sense to me than my anxiety does.
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 2, 2023 9:06:34 GMT
Again, I was feeling better, still a bit off but better, and then I had some major mood problems again. I got really hyped up and had hypomanic symptoms, then felt really down, then flat. I'm feeling flat right now. And I woke up at 2:00 AM and couldn't get back to sleep.
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 2, 2023 10:47:18 GMT
I hope you will be okay melanie. I got to start my laundry early today since I can stress about laundry sometimes, this made me feel very grateful. I wrote other gratitudes in my app today, too. The first one I added was actually for my friend ally, because I love how kind she is to me ^_^ It gives me strength whenever I think of her, she is a true best friend And women like her show that girl power is very real to me. Speaking of girl power, I thought of some magical girl stuff just now. Like I wonder what next year will be for the precure series. Also If there’s one female Christmas time makes me think of, the most, it’s my mom….but this year, that’s gonna be a good thing, and I am gonna celebrate her life she deserves it for bringing me into this wonderful world that I am learning more and more to view optimistically ^___^
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 2, 2023 21:36:29 GMT
I feel okay right now. Today was a weird ride when it came to my moods. I was flat this morning, then hypomanic later, and now I feel kind of flat again but not in a bad way. I'm glad I calmed down. Renton helped me by making sure I laid down in bed for a while, and I read some books while I was there. I'm reading and posting right now. Maybe I'll make tea and light a scented candle.
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 2, 2023 22:39:17 GMT
Being girly is awesome and growing flowers next year is gonna be so wonderful
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 3, 2023 1:40:10 GMT
I'm glad Jirachu MilleniumPika now realizes that being feminine is great. And I don't think someone has to be female to like feminine things. Cute things are for everyone. I'm feeling okay right now. I had tea and then went to a Mexican restaurant with Renton. Now Renton is playing Pokémon FireRed and I'm reading and posting. I should have chamomile tea tonight. :3
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 3, 2023 10:39:11 GMT
I'm glad Jirachu MilleniumPika now realizes that being feminine is great. And I don't think someone has to be female to like feminine things. Cute things are for everyone. I'm feeling okay right now. I had tea and then went to a Mexican restaurant with Renton. Now Renton is playing Pokémon FireRed and I'm reading and posting. I should have chamomile tea tonight. :3 Being girly is really fun, and so is being a gamer I woke up today wanting to finish a library book, by the way, but the brother in the story is too gross xD; Good thing I rediscovered orisinal games last night!^^ That game site has always been super popular with me, and the games are really cute and girly, too It’s great they are archived now. I have a link to the site they are on in the general gaming board, too. So this morning I might play video games instead of read The games seem more happy for me My optimism goal is helping me a lot ^_^ even when I worry it’s misleading me….it seems to be more of a miracle than not. My actually enjoying being girly instead of worrying it’s “wrong” now is so refreshing. I was starting to love myself for being girly a while back, but I also still was a people pleaser. Now I just wanna 10000% embrace who I am, regardless of peoples opinions, cos life is beautiful I also am planning on doing some gardening next year yay flowers!^^
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 3, 2023 16:22:16 GMT
I'm feeling better so far today. I was just playing Pokémon X a bit ago. xD Now I'm reading and posting. I still want to write, but I really should write more fiction. I get tired of writing the same memories over and over and over.
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 3, 2023 16:35:07 GMT
I wanna write about food I like sometime haha. Oh wait, I did that as a day program project once….? I actually have only been listening to Taylor swift this weekend xD pretty much. her music is just so pretty imo^^ I look forward to seeing my Sunday buddies today
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 3, 2023 16:53:20 GMT
Renton and I might eat lunch at Culver's today. That sounds fun. Then we need to pay the rent. And after that... I hope Renton has a surprise for me, and I hope it involves books. I also played my 3DS a bit today. ^^ It was nice to step out of my hyperfocus a bit. xD
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 5, 2023 10:51:02 GMT
So far I feel really happy and relaxed today I know it’s gonna be a better one than yesterday, because I won’t let myself get upset about holiday stuff like I did yesterday again.
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 6, 2023 15:49:10 GMT
I'm having a nice morning. Also, yesterday I went places with Renton. :3 And bought so many books. xD Renton bought a copy of Pokémon Blue with a working save battery, an extra copy of Alpha Sapphire, and a Pokéwalker. He even got the Pokéwalker working again.
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Post by Jirachu MilleniumPika on Dec 8, 2023 4:44:52 GMT
For personal reasons, I have a madoka majika avatar right now to help lower my anxiety about someone who bothered me earlier this week. but, since the person is a case worker, I might tell them some stuff relating to 2004 and my past that might help them understand me better. Cos, as much as this person upset me, I look up to her, anyways…
I won’t let this post cause me to feel sensitive. I am stronger now. My goal is to be optimistic, afterall no matter what…
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Post by My-Chikorita on Dec 11, 2023 4:16:14 GMT
I had a pretty nice day today. I went for a car ride (and listened to Spotify on my phone), had lunch at a shawarma restaurant with my mom, walked while listening to music, and did some reading and posting. Renton got us Crunchyroll too. ^^ I want to watch anime on it sometime. xD
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